Teen Whisperer Podcast: Understanding Behavioural Messages in Girls

Parenting Support: What You Got Right This Year (Even If It Doesn't Feel Like It)

Rach Friedli - Girls Mental Health & Behaviour Specialist Episode 64

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If you’re ending this year feeling tired, emotional, and quietly wondering whether you’ve messed it all up as a mum, this episode is for you. It includes parenting support and ways to improve your mother/daughter relationship.

Not to fix you.
Not to tell you to “be more grateful”.
And definitely not to add another thing to your already full plate.

This is a pause.

In this year-end episode of The Teen Whisperer, I gently unpack why guilt gets so loud for mums and why that guilt isn’t a sign you’re failing, but a nervous system under pressure.

We talk about:

  • why your daughter’s big emotions aren’t bad behaviour, but communication
  • how guilt shows up in your thoughts, your body, and your parenting
  • why labels and “fixing” often miss what girls actually need
  • how stress, hormones, and exhaustion amplify self-doubt
  • and how calm and confidence return when we lead with physiology before psychology

And finally, we gently bridge into January because change doesn’t happen overnight, and you’re not doing it wrong if things don’t magically improve on January 1st.

🎧 Press play if you need reassurance, grounding, and a reminder that you’re doing better than you think.

Join my free webinar, “Become Your Own Teen Whisperer,” and discover how to reach your daughter when she shuts down.

Want to talk it through? Book a free chat - sometimes just saying it out loud is the first step.

Wish your daughter had her own podcast to help understand what’s going on? Send her to Girl You’ve Got This - available on all major platforms.

Don’t forget to subscribe so you’re the first to get new episodes, and leave a review - it helps other mums find the podcast too.

See you next time! 💛

Ep. 65 : What You Got Right: Releasing Guilt and Celebrating Wins
Summary: A year-end reflection for mums: letting go of guilt, recognising progress, and rebuilding joy, calm, and confidence in motherhood.

What You Got Right: Letting Go of Guilt & Rebuilding Confidence in Motherhood

(Year-End Reflection + Bridge to January)



Intro Hook

Motherhood can feel like a tightrope you were never asked to walk.

No safety net.
No rulebook.
And somehow… everyone watching.

So if you’re ending this year tired, emotional, and quietly wondering if you’ve messed it all up, please pause.

This episode is not about what you did wrong.

It’s about what you got right, even if no one ever told you.



Intro

Welcome back to The Teen Whisperer: the podcast for mums of girls - tweens, teens, and young women - who are trying to figure out this whole teenager thing without completely losing the plot.

I’m Rach Friedli, and I help mums of girls who are seen as too much, too sensitive, or struggling to fit in uncover what’s really behind their big emotions and challenging behaviour.

So you can stop second guessing yourself, feel confident again, and truly connect with your daughter.

And listen, I’m a mum too so 100% get it.
The juggle is real.

Especially when your daughter is suddenly living like a nocturnal Netflix gremlin, and you’re left thinking,
“What the friggidy frigg is going on?!”



You’re Not a Bad Mum (And Neither Is She)

Let me say this clearly, before we go any further.

You are not a bad mum.
You are not broken.
And neither is she.

Your daughter isn’t “too much”.

Her meltdowns, shutdowns, mood swings, they’re not defiance.

They’re her nervous system communicating.

This is overwhelm, not bad behaviour.
Communication, not chaos.

But most of us were never taught how to listen to that.

We were taught to fix it.
Control it.
Shut it down.

And honestly?
That approach has failed too many families.



Embodied Pause (Seamless + Optional)

Before we go any further, if you’re somewhere safe - walking, standing in the kitchen - just take one slow breath with me.

In through your nose…

And out through your mouth, a little longer.

Nothing to fix.
Nothing to change.

Just letting your body hear what I just said.



The Label Trap

Too often our girls are misunderstood.

Schools.
Healthcare.
Even family.

Words get thrown around - anxiety, ADHD, autism, depression.

And sometimes labels bring clarity.

But often?

They land like a life sentence… without a map.

They tell her something is wrong with her.
They tell you you’re failing.

But what if she isn’t broken at all?

What if the problem isn’t her but a world that keeps asking her to shrink?

She doesn’t need fixing.

She needs safety.

And so do you.



Year-End Reflection (Without Beating Yourself Up)

So here we are, the end of the year.

And I want you to gently ask yourself:

How has this year really been, for you and your daughter?

Not the highlight reel.
Not the guilt list.

The truth.

Yes, it’s been hard.
But what have you learned?

What are you doing in your relationship because:
• you always have
• you think you should
• everyone else does

And what are you doing because you know in your body, that it actually helps you grow closer?

Let’s do more of that next year.



A Question Worth Sitting With

If December-you could whisper something to January-you from this year…

What would she say?

Slow down.
Trust yourself.
Stop trying to do everything at once.

Because this is something I see again and again…



Why It Feels Like Nothing Works

Most mums aren’t stuck because they’re doing nothing.

They’re stuck because they’re trying everything.

A bit of this strategy.
A bit of that approach.
Half-arsed because who has the time or energy to do it all properly?

So nothing really sticks.

Or we go the other way, so overwhelmed by choice that we freeze and do nothing at all.

Both keep you in guilt.



The Antidote: One Thing, Done Properly

The most powerful strategies aren’t complicated.

They’re the ones you actually do.

Properly.

Not perfectly.
Not occasionally.

With intention.

Pick one approach.
Make a plan.
Protect the energy for it.
Stick with it long enough to see what changes.

When something becomes your priority, when you give it real attention, it cannot not bring results.



Paint the Future (Bridge to January)

Imagine this…

Six months from now, meltdowns don’t pull you apart, they bring you closer.

You walk into them grounded.
She feels safe enough to soften.
You understand what her behaviour is telling you, and you know what to do next.

Not because everything magically changed…

…but because you did.

And you didn’t do it alone.

That’s what mums experience inside WTF: What’s The Feeling.



Fear Is Not a Fact

I used to lie awake thinking:
What if nothing changes?
What if it gets worse?
What if she hates me for doing things differently?

But those weren’t facts.

They were fears.

Stories handed down by a culture that tells mums to cope quietly and not rock the boat.

And one day it hit me:

I wasn’t broken.
She wasn’t broken.
We just needed a new way.



Why WTF Exists (Short + Grounded)

I created What’s The Feeling because I was told again and again, that my daughter had a problem.

End of story.

No curiosity.
No understanding of what was underneath.

Until I realised something that changed everything:

She wasn’t trying to hurt me.

She was hurting.

And I was her safest place to fall apart.

When I stopped fixing and started listening, really listening, everything shifted.

Not perfect.
Not tidy.

But real.
And connected.

No mum should have to figure that out alone at 3am.



What WTF Actually Offers

WTF is a coaching programme and community for mums raising girls who’ve been told they’re “too much” in a world that doesn’t understand them.

Inside, you’ll:
• Rebuild trust before the gap becomes a wall
• Calm the chaos without losing your sh*t
• Feel close to your daughter again
• Do it alongside mums who get it

This is where guilt loosens.
Progress becomes visible.
And confidence comes back online.



Closing Anchor (Carry This Into January)

So as this year closes, carry this with you:

Next year doesn’t need a new you.
It needs a more regulated one.

Behaviour doesn’t change overnight — and that’s okay.

In January, we’re going to talk about what change actually looks like…
and how to support her when she’s struggling, without pushing, fixing, or burning yourself out.



Closing Recap

You’ve learned this year.
You’ve grown.
You’ve shown up even when it was hard.

You are not failing.

You are becoming the mum your daughter needs.



Outro

If this landed with you, hit subscribe so you don’t miss the next episode.

Share it with a mum friend who’s in the thick of it, she needs this reminder too.

And don’t forget to grab my free 60-second reset for mums and girls — it’s in the show notes and it works when everything feels like too much.

If you’re ready for deeper support, the WTF membership is waiting, real tools, real conversations, real relief.

Because remember —
It’s physiology before psychology. Always.

And you’re doing better than you think 💛