Periods, Pain & Power: How to Help Your Daughter Thrive

This week, we’re talking periods, body changes, and helping your daughter feel at home in her own skin. While heavy bleeding, pain, and mood shifts can feel overwhelming, many of the struggles girls face around their cycles are a response to societal shame, lack of understanding, and the world being set up for men, not a problem with them.

I break down the 28-day cycle and what each phase really means in everyday life. I also share why understanding her cycle is just as much about her physiology as it is her psychology, and how we can support her in a world that often ignores what she’s going through.

I offer practical tools for mums and girls from breathwork and gentle movement to sleep, nutrition, and cycle tracking so she feel calmer, more in control, and connected to her body instead of battling it.

Because there’s nothing wrong, her body is doing exactly what it should be and helping her understand that is the first step to thriving through every stage of her cycle.

Here's a tracker for you to use

Download my free 60 sec reset - for mums and girls - simple tools to use in the moment (yes that moment) - when everything is going to pot and you don't know what the hell to do. It's simple, easy and ready to use right now.

And... if you're local to me (that's in Cumbria, UK) come and join me (and my daughter) for a monthly mums + daughters meet-up that starts at the end of this month. Free, fun, connection, coffee and cake and a chance for both you and your girl to meet others who get it.

Like what you hear and wish your daughter had her own podcast to help understand what's going on? Send her to Girl You've Got This - my podcast just for girls, availabe on all major platforms.

Wanna talk? Book a FREE chat with me - sometimes it helps to say it out loud.

And don't forget to hit subscribe so you're the first to get new episodes as they land - because let's be honest, who's got time to go hunting for a podcast?

See you next time!

Transcript

Imagine this: your daughter’s in pain, bleeding through her uniform  and she’s told she can’t go to the toilet because “it’s not break time.”

She’s mortified. Ashamed. And somewhere deep down, she starts to believe that her body is an inconvenience. That something is wrong.

That’s not okay.
And yet it’s happening, every single day.

So in today’s episode, we’re going there - periods, body changes, and how to help your daughter feel safe, informed, and confident in a world that still treats menstruation like it’s taboo.

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Let me tell you a story.

When I first started my period, I didn’t know what was going on and thought I was bleeding to death. No one had actually told me what to expect. The only information I got was that weird, overly scientific diagram in biology class - the one that looked nothing. We never talked about what it felt like, looked like - you know, the actual experience.

No one mentioned the pain, the exhaustion, the change in their bodies, or the mood swings that make you feel like you’ve lost the plot.

And you know what? Not much has changed.

I speak to girls every single week who still feel embarrassed to even say the word “period.”
Girls who hide period products up their sleeves at school.
Girls who whisper about cramps because they don’t want to be called dramatic.
Girls who are worried about how their newly formed breasts will show through sports kit

And then there’s this new level of ridiculousness - schools locking toilets during class time to “improve attendance.”
What the actual…?

I mean, imagine having to ask for permission to go and bleed.
Imagine being 13, bleeding through your uniform, and being told to “wait until break.”
We’re shaming girls for something that’s completely natural.

And it’s not just embarrassing. It’s dangerous.
Because when girls are shamed, they stop talking.
They stop asking for help.
They start believing their pain doesn’t matter.

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And just so you know it’s not “just in her head as we’re so often told” here’s what the research says:
• 97% of girls experience painful periods.
• 7 in 10 have been shamed for their symptoms.
• 3 in 5 say teachers or doctors have dismissed their pain.
• 1 in 9 have said their symptoms make them feel like life isn’t worth living.
- 90% of girls feel anxious every single day

That’s not just hormones. That’s harm.
And it’s a direct result of a culture and society that still tells girls to push through, smile anyway, don’t make a fuss.

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Here’s the bit no one explains properly:
Our daughters’ bodies aren’t broken.
They’re cyclical.
Every 28-ish days, they move through four distinct hormonal phases  and each one changes how they feel, think, and show up in the world.

But we’re living in a world designed for men who run on a 24-hour cycle. Wake up, perform, repeat.
Women and girls? We’re wired differently.
Our energy, focus, confidence, and emotions rise and fall naturally - like the moon.

And here’s where it gets powerful. When we start to understand the four phases of the cycle, we stop fighting against our bodies - and start working with them.

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🌱 THE FOUR PHASES — REAL LIFE TRANSLATION

1. Follicular (the week after bleeding)

This is the reset phase. The body’s building up again.
Hormones rise, energy lifts, and suddenly - your daughter might seem brighter, more talkative, more creative.

This is her “springtime” - she’s ready to plan, to dream, to take on new things.
If she’s been low or withdrawn during her period, you’ll see her re-emerge here - more confident, more open.

It’s a great time to encourage new ideas, creative projects, or even just getting her out of the house again.

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2. Ovulation (mid-cycle, around day 14)

This is her “summer.”
Confidence peaks. Energy’s high. She’s chatty, social, magnetic.
She might want to be out with friends, get dressed up, or take the lead in something.

Biologically, it’s her fertile window but emotionally, it’s her most outward-facing phase.
It’s a great time to have those “future talk” conversations  about goals, friendships, or even tricky topics like boundaries, because she’ll be more receptive and self-assured.

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3. Luteal (the two weeks before her period)

This is where things start to shift.
Hormones dip. The world feels louder.
She might get more easily irritated, tearful, or tired.

This isn’t moodiness, it’s her body asking for slower pace, more support, and fewer expectations.

Think of this as “autumn.” Time to finish projects, tick off the list, start slowing down.
You might notice her withdrawing or wanting space - that’s normal.
If she snaps, it’s not personal, it’s her nervous system trying to regulate.

This is the time to lower demands, not raise them.
More compassion. Fewer “why are you being like this?” questions.

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4. Menstrual (the bleed)

Here comes “winter.”
Her body is literally shedding what it no longer needs.
Her energy’s at its lowest, but her intuition? It’s sky-high.

She’s more inward. Reflective. Sensitive.
This is the time to rest, not to push.

Give her space for comfort - her favourite meal, a cosy blanket, fewer activities.
If you can, track her cycle (even if she won’t), it helps you spot when she’s likely to need a duvet day or a little more patience.

And here’s the thing: when you honour her body’s rhythm, she learns to do the same.
That’s how we raise girls who trust themselves, not fight themselves.

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And here’s where it gets real. Even now, adults still don’t get it.. I remember when my daughter was at college and they were supposed to be canoeing, she had her period and didn’t feel up to it. I told her tutor that she would be unable to take part and his reply was “she just needs to suck it up, she can’t just stop doing something because she’s on her period”. Seriously? This guy had kids of his own and still had no idea as to what is involved..
Women all over the world have been patronised, made to feel small and misunderstood for years about OUR periods, Now is the time to change this and to change it for our girls.

I had endo and adenomyosis and to put it politely the comments I’ve had from doctors, consultants and other well meaning bods, about my periods were downright damaging. I was told my very heavy bleeding was normal and so was my pain - the fact that I could have bled through tampon/menstrual cup and a pad whilst curled in a ball in intense pain, apparently was normal. The book “It’s probably nothing” by Naga Munchetty is a great insight if you want to know more.

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So what can you do?
Use a tracker app or a paper based tracker so you can track every little thing 
You’ll start spotting patterns: the “everything’s wrong” week, the “can’t get out of bed” day, the “suddenly super chatty” phase.

In the week of her bleed, prioritise comfort:
Warmth helps - a hot water bottle, heat pad, bath with Epsom salts, a weighted blanket
Even gentle movement like walking or cycling can reduce pain. Make her favourite food
Model self-care.

And finally, remember:
Physiology before psychology.
When she’s overwhelmed, emotional, or shut down, check the body first.
Her brain follows her biology.

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So next time your daughter’s mood swings faster than you can keep up, remember there’s nothing wrong with her - behaviour is messages from the body. It’s doing exactly what it’s meant to do.

Our job is to help her understand that rhythm, not silence it, not fix it, but work with it.

Because when girls know what their bodies are telling them, they stop fighting themselves.
And when mums understand what’s really going on, they stop taking it personally.

That’s when connection happens.

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