Teen Whisperer Podcast
This is THE podcast for mums of girls - tweens, teens and young women - who want to understand what the frigg is really going on beneath the tricky behaviour and big emotions, so you can stop second guessing, feel confident again and truly connect with your daughter.
Too often we're told it's "just" hormones, emotions or that they're too sensitive. But what if I told you there's something else at play? Something no one talks about - the body sending messages through behaviour. These are natural responses to an unnatural world, and when you understand them, you can start responding with insight not frustration.
Shocked, inspired, eyes wide open - that's what I want for you. To realise that so much of what we've been told about parenting is a lie, wrapped up in control, pressure and guilt. The world isn't set up for our girls - yes even in 2025 - but there is a different way. A way that puts understanding, connection and community first. A way that helps you see the root cause, understand what's happening and know exactly what you can do in the moment.
Let's make this a revolution - one episode at a time - so our girls grow up feeling seen, safe and capable... and we can stop trying to parent from fear and start parenting from insight.
Teen Whisperer Podcast
Is It Her Mood or Your Nervous System?
You’re not failing, you’re just frazzled.
And here’s the truth no one tells mums enough: your nervous system sets the tone at home.
In this episode of The Teen Whisperer, we’re kicking off a new series: You’re Not Failing - You’re Dysregulated, and we’re starting with the power of a regulated mum. Because when you’re calm, centred, and grounded, your daughter feels that. And mirrors it.
Join me as we explore:
- Why your daughter’s moods may be reflecting your stress (not just her hormones)
- What’s really happening in both your brains and bodies during high-stress moments
- The physiology-first, play-based tools that actually work - no yelling, no guilt-trips, no perfect-mum performance required
- One simple nervous system hack you can try today (spoiler: it takes less than a minute)
This isn’t about blame. It’s about power - and how tiny shifts in your body can ripple out to the entire emotional climate of your home.
Download my free 3 minute nervous system reset - simple tools to use in the moment (yes that moment) - when everything is going to pot and you don't know what the hell to do. It's simple, easy and ready to use right now.
A little heads up, I’ve opened the doors again to my WTF Membership and they’re open till 27th September 2025 at midnight BST. It’s my space for mums just like you, where we go deeper into understanding your daughter, decoding her signals, and giving you the support and tools you need so neither of you feels alone in this. Keep an ear out, because I’d love to welcome you inside.
And... if you're local to me (that's in Cumbria, UK) come and join me (and my daughter) for a monthly mums + daughters meet-up that starts at the end of this month. Free, fun, connection, coffee and cake — and a chance for both you and your girl to meet others who get it.
Like what you hear and wish your daughter had her own podcast to help understand what's going on? Send her to Girl You've Got This - my podcast just for girls, availabe on all major platforms.
Wanna talk? Book a FREE chat with me - sometimes it h...
You’re not failing, you’re just frazzled.
And here’s the truth no one tells mums enough: your nervous system sets the tone at home.
In this episode of The Teen Whisperer, we’re kicking off a new series: You’re Not Failing – You’re Dysregulated, and we’re starting with the power of a regulated mum. Because when you’re calm, centred, and grounded — your daughter feels that. And mirrors it.
Join me as we explore:
- Why your daughter’s moods may be reflecting your stress (not just her hormones)
- What’s really happening in both your brains and bodies during high-stress moments
- The physiology-first, play-based tools that actually work - no yelling, no guilt-trips, no perfect-mum performance required
- One simple nervous system hack you can try today (spoiler: it takes less than a minute)
This isn’t about blame. It’s about power and how tiny shifts in your body can ripple out to the entire emotional climate of your home.
Hey and welcome back to The Teen Whisperer, the podcast for mums of daughters aged 9 to 25 who are doing their best to figure out this whole teenage thing… without totally losing the plot.
I’m Rach Friedli and I help mums build stronger, more connected relationships with their daughters by understanding what’s really going on underneath the meltdowns, the slammed doors, the “you don’t get it” moments… and yep, the endless scroll.
This episode is part of a new series I’m calling “You’re Not Failing – You’re Dysregulated,” where we’re diving deep into what happens when your nervous system is running the show… and how that affects hers.
Because here’s the truth: You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to feel safe.
And today, we’re starting with a big one:
“Is it her mood or your nervous system?”
Why?
Because your daughter’s nervous system is mirroring yours and your ability to feel calm, safe and grounded is her blueprint.
So let’s talk about what this actually means - in real life, not in perfect Pinterest-mum land.
1. Your Nervous System Sets the Tone
We often talk about our girls being “dysregulated”: snappy, shutting down, anxious, overwhelmed. But what we don’t talk about enough is how often we are, too.
And it’s not your fault.
The endless to-do list, the pressure to “get it right,” the emotional toll of being everything to everyone, it all builds up. And your nervous system? It doesn’t lie. It will start running the show unless we learn to co-pilot with it.
Science backs this up - research shows that children’s nervous systems, especially girls, are highly attuned to their primary caregiver’s emotional state. They feel our stress before we speak it.
So when you’re on edge, even if you’re hiding it well?
She feels it. And responds in kind.
This isn’t about blame. It’s about power - the kind that comes from awareness and choice.
When you regulate yourself, you literally signal safety to her brain. You say, “You’re safe here. I’m safe here. We’re okay.”
That’s the secret sauce.
2. Regulation Looks Like This (Not What You Think)
Regulation doesn’t mean being zen all the time with spa music and eucalyptus oil diffusers, although, hey, if that’s your thing, I’m cheering you on.
It means:
- Pausing before reacting when she comes at you with attitude.
- Grounding your body before trying to solve the drama.
- Recognising when you’re at capacity and giving yourself permission to step back.
And it looks wildly different for everyone.
You don’t need hours. You need moments.
Try this: Place one hand on your heart and the other on your belly and take 3 breaths. Feel the hand on your belly rise as you inhale and lower as you exhale. That’s it - nervous system gold.
This tiny practice sends a “we’re safe” signal to your brain and hers, if she’s near you. It’s contagious.
3. One Tip to Try Today: “Movement Before Management”
Here’s one I love especially when things feel tense at home:
Move before you manage.
Before you have the talk, send the reminder, chase the homework, or deal with the scroll monster — MOVE.
Walk around the block. Do a fascial jig - literally shake your entire body, jump around, boo to music - do whatever you need to. The sillier you make it, the easier it becomes and she sees you having fun not being the straight laced serious mum.. If the weather’s good enough, do a barefoot lap in the garden.
Movement re-centres you, shifts cortisol, resets your vagus nerve — all the things that help you respond instead of react.
It’s not indulgent. It’s necessary.
And here’s what’s beautiful: when she sees you doing it, she starts to internalise that as a way of being. You’re modelling self-regulation in real time — no lecture needed.
So if you’re sitting there wondering:
“Why is everything so intense at home right now?”
“Why does she explode when I ask one tiny question?”
“Why am I always on the edge of snapping?”
The answer might not be “you’re failing.”
The answer might just be:
You’re dysregulated.
And when you shift that — even a little bit — everything changes.
Grab the Free Guide
If this episode landed for you and you want to understand more about what’s really going on with your daughter’s moods, her reactions, her emotional rollercoasters — and your own — I’ve got something for you.
Download WTF is Going On: A Mum’s Guide to Her Daughter’s Nervous System.
It’s in the show notes or head to my website at the three www.theteenwhisperer.co.uk
It isn’t a parenting programme.
It’s a movement.
A ground-up rebuild of how we respond to our daughters — not with control, but connection.
👉 Monthly group calls
👉 Real-time tools for the messiest moments
👉 A private space to say “I’m losing it” — and be met with truth, not judgment
👉 A bonus 1:1 with me to shift what’s really stuck
This first round?
It’s raw. Real. And only £25/month.
You’re not just joining — you’re helping shape something that could change the game for mums everywhere.
This week’s mini challenge?
🌀 Try alternating breath before your next difficult moment — with your daughter, your partner, or even in the car alone. Just that one thing.
And if you loved today’s episode, hit subscribe, leave a quick review, or share it with a friend who’s in the thick of it too. Because this journey? It’s not meant to be done alone.
You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just doing it without a map.
And that’s why I’m here.
Take care
